How It Works: Step 4 (FEARS)

How It Works: Step 4-Part 2

(Pages 67-68)

  1. What do you think Bill means by stating the fear is “an evil and corroding thread”?
  2. Do you believe that your existence is “Shot Through” with it?  Explain.
  3. Did your fear set in motion trains of circumstances which brought you misfortune?  Explain.
  4. In your case, who or what set the balling rolling?  Explain.
  5. Should fear be classified with stealing?  Explain.
  6. Why do you have fear?
  7. Define self-reliance.
  8. Has self-confidence solved your problems?
  9. Have you ever been cocky?  Why did you act cocky?
  10. Do you believe, like the authors of the Big Book, that there is another way?
  11. What is our new basis of life?
  12. When did we accept this as the new basis for life?
  13. What is the difference between “infinite” and finite”?
  14. What is “trust”?
  15. What does “trusting God” mean?
  16. What does “trusting God” actually look like to you?
  17. Has God assigned a role for you?  If so, what do you believe those roles look like?
  18. Our text says, “just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humble rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.”  What do you think Bill means by this?
  19. What might God give us to “enable us to match calamity with serenity”?
  20. What does the phrase, as we think He would have us” mean?
  21. Why should we never apologize for depending on our Creator?
  22. Do you believe that spirituality is the way of weakness or strength?  Explain your answer.
  23. Explain your ideas on the phrase, “the verdict of ages” being that faith means courage?
  24. Write a list of 20 “courageous” people you know, have read about or have heard about.  What traits do they share?  Were they ever afraid?  Is it possible to be “courageous” without “fear”?  Explain your thoughts.
  25. What do we do instead of apologizing for God?
  26. What does the short phrase, “let Him demonstrate through us” mean to you?
  27. What two things do we ask God for?  Why should we do this?
  28. Thus far, the prayers in the Big Book have asked God for something, and then called us to action.  What are your thoughts about this part of the process?

 

Now that you studied the literature…let’s BEGIN our 4th Step on Resentments…

  1. Download the 4th Step Inventory Form for FEARS.
    1. This is the form that has worked well for us.
  2. IMPORTANT:  We will be working DOWN these sheets, NOT ACROSS!
  3. On Page 65, the Big Book tells us “to go back” through our lives.  Start with FEARS you have right now and work backwards.
  4. Write your FEARS in Column #1.  (Stay in Column #1)
    1. Any FEARS in your mind right now
    2. Any FEARS connected to your RESENTMENTS (Check Marked on your RESENTMENT INVENTORY)
    3. Any FEARS in addition to these (See LIST of POTENTIAL FEARS for assistance.)
  5. GOOD WORK!  All writing has been down in Column #1!
  6. Now, moving to Column #2, answer this question for all fears.
    1. “Why are you afraid?”
    2. Review the Big Book Example on Page 65 and see how Bill uses short phrases, not full stories to describe his Column #2 information.
      1. BIG BOOK EXAMPLES FROM PAGE 65
        1. His attention to my wife.
        2. Told my wife about my mistress.
        3. Brown may get my job in the office.
        4. She is a nut.
        5. She snubbed me.
      2. NOTICE THAT SOME OF THESE ASSESSMENTS ARE NOT NECESSARILY NICE, SOME ARE OUT-RIGHT MEAN.  IT DOESN’T MATTER AT THIS POINT.  JUST WRITE HONESTLY WHAT IS ON YOUR HEART AND MAKE THE POINTS SHORT.
    3. Complete Column #2 on all your FEARS before moving onto Column #3
  7. As we approach Column #3…
    1. Some points of interest.
    2. All people have at least three (3) Basic Instincts in Life.
      1. Social Instinct – The yearning for relationship with self and with others.
        1. Relationship with Self – Self-Esteem
        2. Relationship with Others – Personal Relationship
      2. Security Instinct – The yearning for safety in their material well being and safety in giving and receiving love.
        1. Material
        2. Emotional
      3. Sex Instinct – The yearning for reproducing and life-long sacramental intimacy.
        1. Acceptable Sex Relations
        2. Hidden Sex Relations
      4. In addition, we all have Ambitions to satisfy each of these three (3) Basic Instincts of Life (Social, Security and Sex).
  8. Now, moving onto Column #3.  Again, work DOWNWARD by columns.
  9. Ask yourself this question, “Has this FEAR affected my …” 
    1. …Social Instinct in regards to my Self-Esteem? 
      1. Check the Self-Esteem boxes, working downward, if this resent has affected your Self-Esteem.  Complete all your fears before moving onto Personal Relationships.
    2. …Social Instinct in regards to my Personal Relationships? 
      1. Check the Personal Relationships boxes, working downward, if this resent has affected your Personal Relationships.  Complete all your fears before moving onto Material Security.
    3. …Security Instinct in regards to my Material Security? 
      1. Check the Material Security boxes, working downward, if this resent has affected your Material Security.  Complete all your fears before moving onto Emotional Security.
    4. …Security Instinct in regards to my Emotional Security? 
      1. Check the Emotional Security boxes, working downward, if this resent has affected your Emotional Security.  Complete all your fears before moving onto Acceptable Sex Relations.
    5. …Sex Instinct in regards to my Acceptable Sex Relations? 
      1. Check the Acceptable Sex Relations boxes, working downward, if this resent has affected your Acceptable Sex Relations.  Acceptable Sex Relations is defined by this, “Sexual behavior that I would not feel public shame about.”  Complete all your fears before moving onto Hidden Sex Relations.
    6. …Sex Instinct in regards to my Hidden Sex Relations? 
      1. Check the Hidden Sex Relations boxes, working downward, if this resent has affected your Hidden Sex Relations.  Acceptable Sex Relations are defined by this, “Sexual behavior that I would feel public shame about.”  Complete all your fears before moving onto Ambitions.
    7. “Ambitions” are concerned with obsessive demands to get my Instincts met or a desire to retreat/run away from the opportunities to get my Instincts met.
    8. …Ambitions in regards to fulfilling my Social Instincts?
      1. Check the  boxes, working downward, if this resent has affected your Ambitions for fulfilling your Social Instinct.  Complete all your fears before moving onto Security Instinct.
    9. …Ambitions in regards to fulfilling my Security Instincts?
      1. Check the  boxes, working downward, if this resent has affected your Ambitions for fulfilling your Security Instinct.  Complete all your fears before moving onto Sex Instinct.
    10. …Ambitions in regards to fulfilling my Sex Instinct?
      1. Check the  boxes, working downward, if this resent has affected your Ambitions for fulfilling your Sex Instinct.  Complete all your fears before moving onto Column #4.
  10. Now we PRAY the 4th STEP FEAR PRAYERS on page 68.  Our book states, “We asked Him to remove our fears and direct our attention to what He would have us be.”
  11. The Promise of the Fear Prayer states, “At once, we commence to outgrow fear.”
  12. COLUMN #4:  Page 67, “Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes.
    1. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?
    2. Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame?
    3. The inventory was ours, not the other man’s.
    4. When we saw our faults we listed them.
    5. We placed them before us in black and white.
    6. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.
  13. Go to Column #4, working downward and check the exact nature of your wrongs?
    1. Check the Selfish boxes, working downward, if you Selfishly played a role, any role of any size, in this fearful situation.  Complete all your fear before moving onto Dishonest.
    2. Check the Dishonest boxes, working downward, if you acted Dishonestly in any way in this fearful situation.  Complete all your fears before moving onto Self-seeking & Frightened.
    3. Check the Self-seeking & Frightened boxes, working downward, if you acted in a Frightened manner in this fearful situation.  Complete all your fears before moving onto Inconsiderate.
    4. Check the Inconsiderate boxes, working downward, if you acted in an Inconsiderate manner toward anyone, at anytime in this fearful situation.
  14. If you have followed these directions, you have completed the FEAR part of the 4th Step and you are on your way to completely Step 3!  You have done an HONEST ASSESSMENT, done a lot of WRITING and PRAYED!  Congratulations!
  15. The next sections, on Sex Conduct, will move much faster now that you understand how to complete the Forms.

**Big Book Study: Chapter 5: How It Works: Step 4 (Sex Conduct)

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